My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
