ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
