Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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