I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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