my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
