all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
