i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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