Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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