5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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