oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I looked at my own cervix.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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