it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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