wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
