Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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