I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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