you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
