haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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