do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
