is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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