So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
