i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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