yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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