Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
