hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
