was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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