careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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