I want to have your abortion
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize