So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize