you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
