please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
