While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
