Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
