So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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