It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
