It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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