i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
