I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
dude. I can hear the air.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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