You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
