ttyl tear gas
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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