hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
