my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
