im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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