Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
