would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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