ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
