garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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