I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
