i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
