Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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