so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize