She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
