I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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