I hate all girls vehemently.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
