I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
