She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
