are you so shy because you have an std?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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