He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize