after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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