My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I am morally bankrupt
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize