That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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