i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
