Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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