My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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